KanelLonn

First off, I'm incredibly humbled by anyone who recently started watching or is still watching. As many of you know I have been struggling a lot with trying to draw again and making art.

Lately I have been experiencing some identity crisis. Trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do for myself. In the past Ive been very driven by what others wanted from me and I simply can't do that anymore.

I'm a very ambitious person there are a lot of things I want to do especially with art, there is a comic I want to make there are a million thoughts and ideas in my head. But after loosing the joy of making art I sorta lost myself a bit. Looking back at my old art I kinda feel like it's not "me" anymore, even though it fills me with so much joy. Like it could just be a product of aging I guess and yes, we're not the person we were yesterday. A lot of the things I drew in the past isn't something I would make today and it puts a lot of strain on trying to figure out where to start again...

There are a lot of reasons why I stopped making art in the first place. Everything from a death in the family to depression, predatory friendships and an abusive relationship etc, etc.

I can go on and on about these things but the fact of the matter is that, right now I'm as happy as I could ever be. I have everything I could possibly need and people who loves me unconditionally, my amazing boyfriend who supported me and my brother who helped me so much throughout my struggles. I'm also no longer even depressed, like at all.

Now this account is about 14 years old or so. I first created it back in 2008 in my late teens and used it through my early 20s. I'm about to turn 30 now that's a bit crazy to me. So, Ive been trying to figure out what to do with it, I thought about starting over, changing my name, deleting everything, making a new account. And yet I can't quite let go of what's here.

I just don't know what to do. But what I have on the table right now is to try and start over with 0 expectations of what I've previously made and who I was. That might just be wiping the slate completely clean.